Five Lessons I Learned Traveling in a New Relationship
Do you like tents or the Ritz more?
December 13, 2019
When I was a child, I used to daydream about what my adult life would be like. I fantasized about who I would marry, how many kids we would have, and where we would go on vacation.
The daydream changed as I grew up and eventually I got married, had three kids, didn’t go on enough vacations and 16 years later got divorced. For the last ten years, my fantasy has revolved around finding a man who is a good fit for me. A man who gets me, who has my back and whose mindset wants to sleep in a tent and at the Ritz too.
You see, I believe the tent and the Ritz are literally and figuratively who I am.
I love to hike, not shower, sleep in a sandy tent, and pee and eat outside. I also love the luxury and excellent service I find at The Ritz. I thought I was normal and that everyone enjoyed both. I was wrong. There are definitely tent people and Ritz people, but they are rarely the same person.
The ebb and flow of regular life allows us to observe and learn about who we are in a relationship with. Travel reveals a lot that regular life does not.
Five lessons I learned traveling in a new relationship:
- Travel delays can reveal a lot about our partner. My boyfriend and I were recently stuck at LaGuardia for 8 hours due to mechanical issues on not one but two planes. We watched our fellow travelers become frustrated, scream and complain. I realized on that trip that he was not one of those people. We made the best out of a long night. I learned he is resourceful. He figured out that terminal B had better food and we went there and enjoyed a delicious Shake Shack burger! How do you handle an 8 hour delay at an airport?
- Losing or forgetting an item. On the same trip to New York, my boyfriend left his Bose Noise Cancelling Headphones on one of the two planes American Airlines made us board and deplane without going anywhere. We went back and looked for them, luckily the crew had seen them and saved them for him. I learned he owns his own mistakes and values his possessions. He was calm and hopeful as we walked back to the gate and was grateful when he found them. How do you handle losing something of value?
- Downtime. When traveling, there is often downtime between activities. Paying attention and seeing what our partner turns to when they have some downtime can be very revealing. Do they pick up the remote and watch TV, scroll through social media or do they turn to you and say, “we have an hour, what do you want to do?” This unstructured time helps us see what our partner’s default is when faced with free time. What do you choose to do with a free hour?
- 24 hours a day. When you travel with someone, you don’t get a break from them. You wake up and do everything with them. I love to watch and learn how my boyfriend and I do life. Traveling is like a trial living together. Some people need more alone time than others. I learned my boyfriend and I are similar and would rather have each other in the room while we tend to things like work or reading. The litmus test for me is how soon I want to see a person after a trip. How much “alone time” do you need?
- New environment. On a recent trip to a lake house in Central Florida, I realized my boyfriend is like me, a Ritz and tent person. I already knew he was a Ritz guy, we stayed in several swanky hotels, but I wasn’t sure he would love tent living. This trip showed me a new side of him. He loves trading his leather loafers for flip flops and can wear board shorts all day. He is comfortable with the silence of nature and has no problem going to the bathroom outside.
Do you like tents or the Ritz more?
Knowing yourself and accepting your partner for who they are is key to a healthy relationship. Want help figuring it out? Schedule a free call with Galia today.
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